Lone wolf

Throwing out an old image is not an easy step. Letting of of the past isnt that lucid. But starting fresh isnt an option you are presented everyday. Blessed to be a lone wolf!

Faliure an option

I grow up thinking a failure is the worst thing I could have. But life has a wonderful way to teach you after it has examined you. Faliure is an option.

Zayed's Dream, Zayed's Faith

One needs a warriors mind to hold such a dream. And no shoting stars in the middle of the Empty Quartar will not fulfill them. It starts with clean intention, strong will, braveheart, and focused mind.
See that Vision and hammer it every day and hour. The campaign begins from the mind

The last two hundred nights were failure. But you are not afraid of it. You love failure because it is life mentor. You failed because you didn't set any parameters to your journey. The knight fell to ailment due to starvation. Wake up!

To win the war and cross the desert, you need to invest on right and required assets. Invest in your time and skills. Starve your distraction and feed your focus. You know how

So what will you do? Will you fight, soldier, or will you surrender to heat of the desert and temptation of nights?

Know that no victory can be held on starving brain. No legion ever won war on a empty provision. And the spoils of war depends on victory. A tight palindrome and an enigmatic equation.

If year to come is to achieve a personality of Zayed in yourselve then first you need have his faith and character.Faith in your aspiration, capabilies and deterrmination. How can you when you have a feeble mindset?

I dare you dream like him and act like him. That change is to launch a steady campaign against the ailment of the mind. All is not lost, a hundred and twenty nights remain for change. Be the Champion of your Mind inorder hold Zayed's Faith and Dream.

The parting time approached. You reminded me to stay strong and have faith. Weeks ago you left and came back. Plethora of thought barraged my tiny brain. You told me not to cry. But when love is splintered its bound to cast pain. Pumping heavy heart, red hot iron-like chest and insurmountable pain that leave men dead.

My love was genuine and I couldn't bear the parting. So I cried and cried. And when the I could no longer cry I was  as silent as dead-like beaten child. In my grief, the sweeten drink was like witch potion. That drink I never dared to touch till a decade passed.

Nights passed and my hope never left me to see you again. Nights I tried to keep the prayers you taught alive. Prayers I couldn't comprehend meaning of. But its your sound that I always ran in my head

And as weeks turned to months, hopes were shattered in the ground and sadness were replaced with hate. I promised not to love you again, I rationalized that if you loved me you wouldn't leave....

Illumination of Abundance

I learned what was mine was written in the stars, so I never demoralized with what I lost. I learned that pain was only a twinkling of a star time, so I never mourned for it. I learned laughter was only a blink of an eye so I laughed to fullest! I acknowledged that all my beloved were to part me, so I always tried to expect less from them. I knew my existence was of a mere mortal, so I strive to leave good and solid footprint to the coming wayfarers! And lo! There are many to come after me so I bother not with progeny!

I learned that with hard work and hard times the illumination increases. So I struggle to learn even a morsel of knowledge. I learned that hate was energy consuming, so I forgave insolence. I learned that not in every good turn would I deserve equivalent other, so I grateful for the less and equaled my big with the other less! I knew that if anything wasn't a blessing, then it would always be a lesson and that my mood was like water; crystal clear when it was still, and tempestuous, when agitated. So I try to control my anger! I knew I was in a race to success, so challenged myself! I recognized my privileges, so I learned to not envy for more!

I acknowledge I was no god, so I accept my weakness and harness what I could of good morale & moral! I accredit my humanity, so I cry, smile, love, adore, and worship! I know I was a mercy, so I plant hope to every creature; plant or animal. I know that death is inevitable, so I teach myself in every sunrise to give more and ask less. I knew I was a parable, for good or evil, so I guard over my thoughts, statements, and actions. And when I fail achieving it, I ask myself why I failed guarding them.

If you ask me now how did I come to these conclusions? I’ll tell you I experienced plenty and lived frugally. To paraphrase it, I learned things can be acquired but abundance must be tuned to. So stop rushing into things, when the times is right, it will happen.

The Dilemma

The path can be clear and even your objective may be clear. But what you might also need to know sometimes is that you may need to make sacrifices! But sacrifice what time or money? When even time is money!

Before I traveled, I made some objectives keeping everything in mind. My skills, ability, strength and even weakness! Now I feel tested? Just like the experiment I used to do in the physics lab back in the days of school!

The roods diverged into the yellow wood. After a peep; I sensed one path was path of a caged parrot. Fed and properly hydrated but imprisoned. Yet, the other road alas was risky. Neither was there a promise of sustenance nor was there a risk of imprisonment.  What about the burden on my tired shoulders? Can I carry them in this non-prognosticated path?  Two months and a week would tell? Do or Die!

The Mahatma taught me something; whenever he was given an option between two things he would take the easiest of them only if it was farthest from immorality. If it were immoral, He would be the farthest from it. The path was sure easy. It was unquestionably a non- malevolent path!

Nevertheless, the path fulfills null. Neither has it taken my potential, current objectives nor past glories. Yes, with time, it can fulfill my ultimate aim. Yet, maybe the other path will take me to a shorter cut! Do I fear it? Is it worth sacrifice? Time, Money and Burdens have weekend me

I fear not failure or repercussions. Yet retribution from loved ones of my failures and wicked-mouth of those who bear black-hearts and sweet tongues, I can’t bear. And seeing me aimless, broken, and darkened by vision in that ancient house is what I fear. Neither where a hand can be lent nor can wisdom be decreed.

Which path should I sail and which will anchor me to my dreams… Which?

All I Ever Wanted….

…was a piece of cake with my name on it. I didn’t want 25 candles on top of it. A sheer “happy 25^th” would have sufficed.  All I ever wanted was warmth of family that I missed since my 17^th Anniversary. I did not desire for chants from well-wishers. All I wanted was sharing a piece of cake to random good friends around that ancient city….

Since 2006, I received calls and texts congratulating me on the occasion. As unscheduled as they could be, they often reached me as I was commuting, sleeping, working, around friends, and while crossing the equator. How I wished that I could celebrate next to my family. Just capturing those silly pictures so that one day could reminisce. I wonder I would ever indulge in those dreams

As I turned a leaf after another, I became more convinced that they will remain to be dreams that will never be fulfilled. Albeit scrupulosity roared on my heart, I waited and waited. Patience was a cure for a weak. And I was weak against both: Time and Destiny.

This summer patience yielded its fruit, I was there in that ancient house, my family was around and even those good old friends whose friendship started since we were toddlers,still I could not CELEBRATE it. Why?  Superstitious beliefs

How I wished to be farther from my own family. I wished they were thousands of miles away! I wished she could listen to me. All she did was listening to her voice even louder. Never did I think, not even in my wildest dreams, that I could be so close yet so far.

Suddenly, I did not want to be in that ancient house anymore. Nor did I want to see any of them during this auspicious day! None of that mattered now! I have sealed celebrating my birthday! Not with happy candles and chants or probably with content heart of a feeling being around my family with a glamorous birthday cake in the midst! Yes it was a dream and never will it be fulfilled!